Serenity

These are crazy times. Nothing feels real, it feels as if we are part of a movie and events are turning out how it would happen in a movie. I am not going to tell you what to do, I guess you already know all that, thanks to the health officials, social media, TV and all other news outlets. We all know what to do and what not to do during these crucial times. Let’s do the right thing and stay home as guided.

Wore this soft cotton handloom saree to brighten up my mood and day. The skies are grey outside today and so is my mood with everything going on around us. May we emerge even stronger after all this.. and may this pandemic is behind us sooner than later. Wishing good health and safety for all.
Saree is from Suta, white pumps are Abella. This saree did not come with a blouse so matched it with a bluish-gray blouse (my design).

Small Circle

As I age, I’ve realized my circle (‘Circle’ here means the people I call mine, the people I am closed to, the people who understand me, the people who know the true me) keeps getting smaller. I have no room for people who are fake or pretend to be my friend or well wishers. Does this happen to you too?
I feel life is too precious to be wasted on wrong relationships. Keeping my circle small and close has really given me the opportunity to stay away from unnecessary ‘pretend’ friendships, gossips, from getting wronged and getting heart broken. I still get misjudged because I can’t change other’s perception about me, neither do I care, nor do I have the time and energy to do so. I love my small world and love the people in it and also love being loved by them unconditionally.

Here, in a cotton saree gifted by the mothership on a Sunday afternoon – leaving for a day of errands. Punjabi jutti is from a local shop in Amritsar from my recent trip to India. I have never worn a cotton saree before, and this saree completely changed my perception of cotton sarees. What a breeze!

From the Heart

Like I said last time, yesterday was my daughter’s third birthday and her party was a blast! At least for me it was. Last night when I was lying in bed next to my doll putting her to sleep, somehow I just couldn’t hold back my tears. All the memories – from the day she was born… to when she took her first steps… to when turned one… to when she called me ‘mamma’ for the first time… to when she became a big sister… all these beautiful memories kept flashing in front of my eyes. It was pitch dark in the room but I could see everything crystal clear. All I want is to imprint these special memories in my mind in such a way that they never fade. If only I could just pause the time, this is such a precious time of my life. My older one now communicates her feelings and showers us with hugs and kisses. If only I could bottle up her innocence and sweetness I totally would.
It’s very, very hard for me to put this love, this motherly feeling in words. I am BEYOND grateful to the almighty that I got to experience the gift of motherhood – not once but TWICE! So then, I picked up my phone and started typing everything I was feeling right then. I’ve never attempted at any such thing before, so here it goes –

आज क्या लिखूँ ..??

एक बेटी की आस थी
तब ज़िंदगी में तुम आई
नन्ही सी जान
लगा मानो घर भर गया
दिल को सुकून मिल गया
तुम्हारी बड़ी बड़ी आँखें..
प्यारी सी नाक़
सबने कहा अपने पापा पर गई हो
पायल पहने पुरे घर में दौड़ती थी

नजाने कब तुम इतनी बड़ी हो गई..
अब पटर पटर बोलती हो
कितने सवाल करती हो
मम्मा मम्मा कह पूरा दिन तंग करती हो
कभी अपना बेस्ट फ्रेंड बना लेती हो
और कभी रूठ जाती हो
फिर तुरन्त मान भी जाती हो

अपनी मासूमियत
और चंचल अदाओं से
सबको ख़ूब हसाती हो

तुम्हीं से तो है घर – घर मेरा
तुम्हीं तो मेरी परी हो
अपने पापा की गुड़िया और दादी की लाडो रानी
नानी की तो फुलझड़ी हो

और क्या लिखूँ…
वो शब्द नहीं बने
जो बता सकें
की तुम मेरे लिए क्या हो
बस ईश्वर का आशीर्वाद हो
मेरी प्यारी सी बेटी
मेरी Keva
तुम जियो हज़ारों साल
Happy birthday मेरी लल्ली ❤️

We clicked these pictures after my girl’s birthday party got over. I am surprised how well the saree held its shape and was actually a breeze through out the event. Of course I had to wear a saree! Another gift from dear mothership. Aren’t mothers just awesome! Thanks mom, love you.

Musings

Where should I even start? Words fall short for this lost time. Honestly, I might have thought about a hundred times of how I would write this post. Yes, THIS one – the one you are reading – the one where I would re-introduce myself as a mommy of two. I thought a lot and when nothing helped – here I am.. Today I decided to just sit down and write. Write – whatever comes to my mind because well, this is my blog and it has always been like that. I write what I want to write. And you read what I write. Right? 🙂 To be frank, I tried a several times to come back to the blog on a regular basis, but then I always got distracted – sometimes by a screaming toddler and other times by a baby needing a diaper change. Simply saying ‘my life has changed’ doesn’t even begin to describe the chaos that I live in now. But do I love it? Oh boy, I do love it! This chaos is my new normal. This chaos fills my heart up to the brim. This chaos helps me sleep peacefully every night (by which I mean the few hours that I get to sleep, thanks to the little one).
After my last post, you were right to expect baby pictures and the postpartum stories and all that faff. But if you know me.. you would know that I find it tedious to pen all that. Who wants to go back and talk about their birth stories – I just wanted to recover and get back on my feet. 9 months of pregnancy is more than enough to talk about pain and discomfort. No more, please. Plus I was too busy to even blink! Both my babies needed me 24/7. And like I’ve always said – ‘Life happens’. And it happened. To me. Anyhow, now that we are on other side of the tunnel, I finally managed to sit down and just scribble my jumbled thoughts.

And if you’ve come here just for pictures, well then I wouldn’t dare disappoint you! We clicked these today post lunch with friends. I know, yes it’s almost December, and no we don’t need jackets in Florida. Thanks much!
Oh by the way, Happy Thanksgiving!

Talk soon..
Ritika