As I age, I’ve realized my circle (‘Circle’ here means the people I call mine, the people I am closed to, the people who understand me, the people who know the true me) keeps getting smaller. I have no room for people who are fake or pretend to be my friend or well wishers. Does this happen to you too? I feel life is too precious to be wasted on wrong relationships. Keeping my circle small and close has really given me the opportunity to stay away from unnecessary ‘pretend’ friendships, gossips, from getting wronged and getting heart broken. I still get misjudged because I can’t change other’s perception about me, neither do I care, nor do I have the time and energy to do so. I love my small world and love the people in it and also love being loved by them unconditionally.
Here, in a cotton saree gifted by the mothership on a Sunday afternoon – leaving for a day of errands. Punjabi jutti is from a local shop in Amritsar from my recent trip to India. I have never worn a cotton saree before, and this saree completely changed my perception of cotton sarees. What a breeze!
I absolutely forgot how much I loved this little space of mine. I loved writing about my life musings, posing for pictures, putting outfits together and connecting with fellow bloggers. This time away from blog was (at first) unintentional. Then few BIG events happened in my life which really shifted my focus and the blog took a back seat. I would be lying if I said I did not miss blogging, but this is also true that blogging was the last thing on my mind when my health was not co-operating with my body. Ok, so here’s the deal – we planned for baby no.2, and I fell pregnant but had a very unhealthy first trimester. I was so sick that I couldn’t take care of myself or even my little girl. Mind you, the pregnancy was healthy, it was me who wasn’t well. And none of the medicines were working. It was as if my body was doing a thing of its own. Imagine you keep coughing all night, can’t sleep for a single minute, wake up extremely tired with all kinds of smell and food aversions and also have a toddler to take care of! I was just thrown under the bus like that. I clearly remember one morning calling my mom and crying over the phone (real tears and all) telling her how I feel so helpless in this state. Even doing simple everyday chores was a big challenge. If you know me, you know how much fitness enthusiast I have been all my life. And mind you, I was absolutely fit before falling pregnant. I was boxing, going to the gym every day, eating healthy and just in general very active. But the world changed upside down for me in a matter of couple weeks. Then this sickness lasted until my 5th month of pregnancy. I of course, took my mom’s advice and went to India for seven to eight weeks, where I just relaxed, rested and ate all the good homemade food. It was what was needed at that time, I guess. This pregnancy is so, so different from my first one. My first pregnancy went by without any issues. No morning sickness, no major health issues, the only thing that bothered me last time was acne. It was horrible but other than that, everything went quite smoothly. Anyhow, now that I am feeling a lot better and enjoying in my last leg pregnancy (only 2.5 weeks left for baby no.2 to arrive), I thought of coming back here and saying hi to this little world of mine. So many of you would have lost hope in me coming back to blogging but trust me, I am not going anywhere. A little break here and there is sometimes unavoidable, because well, life happens and priorities shift. But you have my word, dear blog – I will not abandon you.
8 months pregnant in this pic. The bump is bigger now (as if that’s even possible) 😉
Big flowers on my green blouse – this is what I wanted to name this post. But after 30 seconds of pondering over, it felt awkward. Moving on..
Today I specially want to connect with my mom-friends. This post is dedicated to all the mothers. We are super-heroes, each one of us. All the hardships that we go through, from the minute we conceive to giving birth and then raising our babies. The struggle, the hardwork never ends. Once a mother, always a mother. We will always worry about our children, no matter how old they get. However sometimes, while mothering we start losing ourselves. Inch by inch, everyday, we keep letting go of our original self until one day when it’s too late.
So today, I would like you to Stop what you are doing and think about it. Are you one of those mothers who has stopped loving herself? Have you stopped cooking for yourself (by which I mean something that YOU like, not what the family wants)? Have you stopped dressing up nice? Have you stopped taking time out for a hobby or any activity that you previously enjoyed? Well, if the answer to any of these questions is a yes, then my friend there is a problem. This is not OK. We must love ourselves first, take care of ourselves first, only then will be able to love our children and live a happy life. ‘Happy’ is the key word here. Are you happy? Like REALLY happy? This happiness should not be because you gave birth. This happiness should be because you love your life, because you have not given up your ‘true self’ to be a mother.
Often I see mothers who are always, like ALWAYS dressed up in sweats or black head-to-toe. And rarely this is because they like black color. Usually it is because black hides their curves and makes them look thin. They think their bodies are not beautiful anymore since giving birth and hence do not deserve pretty clothes.
May I request you to please, please not do that to yourself. If anything, we must love and appreciate our bodies even more now. It goes through so much pain to bring a new life in to this world. Our bodies are so, so strong. And that is why I think all mothers are superheroes.
All of you is beautiful. Even those sagging breasts and the wide waistline – all these tell a beautiful story. The story of bringing a new life to this world. How can that be ugly in any way? Look at yourself from your child’s eyes – For them you are THE MOST BEAUTIFUL being in the entire world. Their eyes light up when you enter the room. Don’t they? Would you like them to grow up seeing you hating or criticizing your body? Instead we want our sons and daughters to be confident and humble in every way possible. If not for yourself, do it for them. Our children are seeing us, observing us, learning from us. They are observing every minute thing we say and do. We can’t let them grow up thinking only skinny is beautiful. We can’t let them think their mother hates her body since giving birth to them!
So let’s just change this. If not today, then when? If not us, then who? Let’s just start from dressing up nice everyday. Embrace your curves. Love your body. Don’t eat junk, workout regularly (remember they are watching us). Say good things about yourself. Think positive. Cook for yourself. Go back to that art class, gardening or reading or whatever you like to do. Take time out for yourself. Go shopping. Meet with your girlfriends. Just do what makes you happy!
In my humble opinion, body confidence is one of the best gifts we can give to our children, but it has to come from within us. And actions speak louder than words.
Dear mother – you are beautiful. Every inch of you. 🙂
Trust me when I say I sat in front of my computer so, so many times to write something but I just didn’t find the motivation. All I could ever think was I would be better off playing with my little one than sitting in front of the screen. These moments are so, so limited, so precious, so special that I simply don’t want to miss even a single second of her childhood. Time is just flying and I just want to be present for her – all the time, in every way I can. And being offline makes me happy, it keeps me sane.
So excuse me while I try to juggle my life while trying to live it.
Oh, what fun! 🙂
Here are some pictures we clicked yesterday early morning before breakfast and grocery shopping at the local farmers market. This blouse that I picked from the clearance section really fit the backdrop. Can you spot me in those bushes? 😛