If there is one thing in particular, that you might not have seen me wearing on the blog (like EVER) – it’s anything off-shoulders. I’ve always had heavy breasts (since my early twenties), which is why I never had the courage of wearing anything off the shoulders. (I also wrote a post on this topic a few years ago). I was afraid that my body won’t do justice to this style, or I would look funny, or what will people think. Guess what? I was wrong. So, so wrong. Look at me now! You might be wondering what changed?
Well, I gave birth. That is what changed. All the insecurities I ever had over my body – all went down the drain – just like that! I do not care anymore what others think of my body or how do my arms or my stomach looks in a particular dress. The only thing matters to me now is that ‘I’ should be satisfied with my clothing, ‘I’ should feel comfortable in it, ‘I’ should like it, ‘I’ should feel fit,. In short, ‘I’ am all that matters.
To think of it, this body created a life, survived a Cesarean section (yes, I had one), went through all the post operation trauma, breastfed and still survived. Isn’t it wonderful? And all I cared before was that my breasts were too curvy, well breaking news!! Now, they sag too. And on the contrary, I am even more grateful to my body – because it’s feeding my baby. And I fully accept the fact that my body has changed FOREVER. This realization is what made me strong. Now if I want to wear an off-shoulder dress or any other damn thing, you bet I’ll wear it!
Life with a baby is so unpredictable. Just when you think you know it all, and you are on the right track.. things go boom!!! There goes all your planning in the drain. As much as I love my sweet little bean, the unpredictability that comes with parenting is what I wasn’t ready or let’s say planned for! Every day is new. Every day comes with it’s own challenges. Every day she (and I) learn something new. Every day is different in our lives.
This bittersweet (but oh, so satisfying) experience, the struggles, the smiles, the tears, those cuddles, those long wakeful nights, and short playful days.. I want to absorb it all and cherish them deep in my heart forever since this time will never come back. She will never be a baby again. She keeps growing every minute, every second of the day. It feels like time is racing with me. And it’s such a delight to watch her personality unfold a little every day. I look at her and my eyes get watered so often, wondering how on earth is she mine! What did I ever do to get so lucky. I never get an answer back, so then I just thank the universe for making her mine. She is love. She is life. She is happiness. She is pure innocence.
I love her so.. my heart hurts.
Oh well.. where do I begin? I’M A MOTHER!! Alright, technically I became a mother the minute I conceived, but still.. the feeling of holding your child in your arms is beyond words or any form of expression. Motherhood is so rewarding, so satisfying, so so awesome. I thought I knew what is love before. But man.. this is intense! 🙂
Honestly, I did not mean to go in to hiding all this time.. I was just busy being a mommy to my baby girl! Yes, we had a Girl. She came in to our lives on December 14th last year, and since then is the center piece of our beautiful small world. 🙂
Everything changed with her arrival – our life, our priorities, our goals. Motherhood gave me a new birth too. And I am loving every second of it.
Blogging took a back seat if I may say. But I don’t regret going offline, even if it wasn’t planned. What can I say, I just had my hands full. Now that we have (kind of) settled in a schedule, and I have got (may be just a little) hang of being a mother, I thought of dropping by here and saying hello to you all. Trust me, I have not abandoned this blog in any way. All I can say is, I will be more regular here from now on. And this blog will (as always) be centered on fashion and lifestyle. I am kind of excited about what’s to come! Plus THE BLOG TURNS 5 TODAY. Yikes!! So what better day to share the news with you all..?? I promise I am celebrating tonight.
Ok, enough of talking. I know you might want to see some pictures so here we go!
Oh and her name is Keva 🙂 My Keva!
This long absence from the blog wasn’t planned or intentional. I kind of fell into that ‘laze around’ zone and took too long to get out of it (frankly I’m still not out completely). What can I say, this last leg of pregnancy has really kicked me hard in the butt. Thankfully, my pregnancy has been healthy all the way with no complications, but the discomforts are what really bugging me. Being dependent on others for small tasks like bending down, tying shoes, getting up from the bed etc. really makes me feel helpless and in need of a break! Don’t be surprised if I say there were occasional tears. Tears of pain, tears of exhaustion, tears of frustration and tears of impatience. But such moments were rare. Other times, the anticipation of holding the baby in my arms kept winning over. All I want is to look in her eyes and simply forget about all my misery. Though this seems only wishful thinking as of now.
As of today I am one week overdue and 41 weeks pregnant. Frankly, somehow I never thought I’d be overdue. I always had this notion that I’ll deliver within a week of my due date. And here I am… sitting at 41 weeks pregnant with no signs of labor (other than those intense Braxton Hicks). Honestly, I feel like I have been pregnant since forever. And have no shame in conceding that I desperately want my body back now. This little alien inside me has been a guest for too long, and it’s high time she makes an appearance, and relieves me. This waiting game is no fun. Hopefully.. not long now!
Posting a selfie from today. Bathroom selfies for the win! 😉