From the Heart

Like I said last time, yesterday was my daughter’s third birthday and her party was a blast! At least for me it was. Last night when I was lying in bed next to my doll putting her to sleep, somehow I just couldn’t hold back my tears. All the memories – from the day she was born… to when she took her first steps… to when turned one… to when she called me ‘mamma’ for the first time… to when she became a big sister… all these beautiful memories kept flashing in front of my eyes. It was pitch dark in the room but I could see everything crystal clear. All I want is to imprint these special memories in my mind in such a way that they never fade. If only I could just pause the time, this is such a precious time of my life. My older one now communicates her feelings and showers us with hugs and kisses. If only I could bottle up her innocence and sweetness I totally would.
It’s very, very hard for me to put this love, this motherly feeling in words. I am BEYOND grateful to the almighty that I got to experience the gift of motherhood – not once but TWICE! So then, I picked up my phone and started typing everything I was feeling right then. I’ve never attempted at any such thing before, so here it goes –

आज क्या लिखूँ ..??

एक बेटी की आस थी
तब ज़िंदगी में तुम आई
नन्ही सी जान
लगा मानो घर भर गया
दिल को सुकून मिल गया
तुम्हारी बड़ी बड़ी आँखें..
प्यारी सी नाक़
सबने कहा अपने पापा पर गई हो
पायल पहने पुरे घर में दौड़ती थी

नजाने कब तुम इतनी बड़ी हो गई..
अब पटर पटर बोलती हो
कितने सवाल करती हो
मम्मा मम्मा कह पूरा दिन तंग करती हो
कभी अपना बेस्ट फ्रेंड बना लेती हो
और कभी रूठ जाती हो
फिर तुरन्त मान भी जाती हो

अपनी मासूमियत
और चंचल अदाओं से
सबको ख़ूब हसाती हो

तुम्हीं से तो है घर – घर मेरा
तुम्हीं तो मेरी परी हो
अपने पापा की गुड़िया और दादी की लाडो रानी
नानी की तो फुलझड़ी हो

और क्या लिखूँ…
वो शब्द नहीं बने
जो बता सकें
की तुम मेरे लिए क्या हो
बस ईश्वर का आशीर्वाद हो
मेरी प्यारी सी बेटी
मेरी Keva
तुम जियो हज़ारों साल
Happy birthday मेरी लल्ली ❤️

We clicked these pictures after my girl’s birthday party got over. I am surprised how well the saree held its shape and was actually a breeze through out the event. Of course I had to wear a saree! Another gift from dear mothership. Aren’t mothers just awesome! Thanks mom, love you.

The Big Three

The big news is that my first born is turning three next week! How did that happen? Right. Okay, first things first – You’ll never hear me say that time flies. Like never. Specially, these three years did not. I have lived, loved (and suffered too) every single day of all these years since she came along in to our lives.
Yes, kids are lovely and they bring whole other dimension to our lives but, BUT – they also make our bodies go through second birth, they tire us, they make us worry, they give us sleepless nights, they take all the living juice out of us and then they also teach us ‘how to love someone so much that your heart hurts’, they teach us patience, they teach us forgiveness, they teach us how to look at life with innocence, they teach us so many things.. I will stop here.
Anyways, where were we? Yes, so I have lived all these moments with her and loved most of them (ok, I’ll say it) and hated some too. Some days felt never-ending and some nights were longer than I could ever imagine. Some days were so joyous, it felt like my heart would burst with happiness and then there were lows. It is tough, the initial years are challenging – specially for new parents, and even more for those who live overseas or far away from their immediate families. There is no one to guide you and get you through the rough waters. You’ve got to figure out everything on your own – all while keeping an innocence life alive and fed!! Waah!
AND WE DID IT! I am so proud. We are growing WITH her too. What a beautiful phase it is, to see everything from her eyes. Sometimes innocent, sometimes witty – she’s just charming. She will charm anyone with her smile and the way she says ‘Pleeeease’ with puppy eyes when she wants something. We are still working on our tantrums, but frankly I don’t mind them! I actually find them cute to be honest. Anyways, so I was saying that we are going to celebrate our daughter’s third birthday next weekend and we are SO looking forward to it!

Wore this pretty suit today which was a hand me down from the mothership. I somehow feel engulfed by her love and warmth when I wear her clothes. That will never change I guess! 🙂
Until next time..
Ritika

Musings

Where should I even start? Words fall short for this lost time. Honestly, I might have thought about a hundred times of how I would write this post. Yes, THIS one – the one you are reading – the one where I would re-introduce myself as a mommy of two. I thought a lot and when nothing helped – here I am.. Today I decided to just sit down and write. Write – whatever comes to my mind because well, this is my blog and it has always been like that. I write what I want to write. And you read what I write. Right? 🙂 To be frank, I tried a several times to come back to the blog on a regular basis, but then I always got distracted – sometimes by a screaming toddler and other times by a baby needing a diaper change. Simply saying ‘my life has changed’ doesn’t even begin to describe the chaos that I live in now. But do I love it? Oh boy, I do love it! This chaos is my new normal. This chaos fills my heart up to the brim. This chaos helps me sleep peacefully every night (by which I mean the few hours that I get to sleep, thanks to the little one).
After my last post, you were right to expect baby pictures and the postpartum stories and all that faff. But if you know me.. you would know that I find it tedious to pen all that. Who wants to go back and talk about their birth stories – I just wanted to recover and get back on my feet. 9 months of pregnancy is more than enough to talk about pain and discomfort. No more, please. Plus I was too busy to even blink! Both my babies needed me 24/7. And like I’ve always said – ‘Life happens’. And it happened. To me. Anyhow, now that we are on other side of the tunnel, I finally managed to sit down and just scribble my jumbled thoughts.

And if you’ve come here just for pictures, well then I wouldn’t dare disappoint you! We clicked these today post lunch with friends. I know, yes it’s almost December, and no we don’t need jackets in Florida. Thanks much!
Oh by the way, Happy Thanksgiving!

Talk soon..
Ritika

Life Update

I absolutely forgot how much I loved this little space of mine. I loved writing about my life musings, posing for pictures, putting outfits together and connecting with fellow bloggers. This time away from blog was (at first) unintentional. Then few BIG events happened in my life which really shifted my focus and the blog took a back seat. I would be lying if I said I did not miss blogging, but this is also true that blogging was the last thing on my mind when my health was not co-operating with my body.
Ok, so here’s the deal – we planned for baby no.2, and I fell pregnant but had a very unhealthy first trimester. I was so sick that I couldn’t take care of myself or even my little girl. Mind you, the pregnancy was healthy, it was me who wasn’t well. And none of the medicines were working. It was as if my body was doing a thing of its own. Imagine you keep coughing all night, can’t sleep for a single minute, wake up extremely tired with all kinds of smell and food aversions and also have a toddler to take care of! I was just thrown under the bus like that. I clearly remember one morning calling my mom and crying over the phone (real tears and all) telling her how I feel so helpless in this state. Even doing simple everyday chores was a big challenge. If you know me, you know how much fitness enthusiast I have been all my life. And mind you, I was absolutely fit before falling pregnant. I was boxing, going to the gym every day, eating healthy and just in general very active. But the world changed upside down for me in a matter of couple weeks. Then this sickness lasted until my 5th month of pregnancy. I of course, took my mom’s advice and went to India for seven to eight weeks, where I just relaxed, rested and ate all the good homemade food. It was what was needed at that time, I guess. This pregnancy is so, so different from my first one. My first pregnancy went by without any issues. No morning sickness, no major health issues, the only thing that bothered me last time was acne. It was horrible but other than that, everything went quite smoothly.
Anyhow, now that I am feeling a lot better and enjoying in my last leg pregnancy (only 2.5 weeks left for baby no.2 to arrive), I thought of coming back here and saying hi to this little world of mine. So many of you would have lost hope in me coming back to blogging but trust me, I am not going anywhere. A little break here and there is sometimes unavoidable, because well, life happens and priorities shift. But you have my word, dear blog – I will not abandon you.

8 months pregnant in this pic. The bump is bigger now (as if that’s even possible) 😉